seize the day

im dylan i love my friends


tell me jokes  
Reblogged from curvellas

madehimsaycomfychairs:

thebeauty-isa-beast:

curvellas:

my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.

My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my  eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.

this is my favorite post on tumblr currently

(via ollivander)

Reblogged from mar-rs

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via live-la-bella-e-vita)

(Source: mar-rs, via 0utbox)

Reblogged from omgtsn

fairylleviathan:

omgtsn:

highnoonhex:

mistahgrundy:

kat-reverie:

omgtsn:

a masterpost

fUVK HSDGUJWKEG i love this

SPOOPY BUS

This is actually pissing me off. It has begun to ruin halloween for me knowing people don’t spell check. Things are massed produced in factories and sent out for sale to the public spelt spoopy, doo, and creppy. Like what the actual fuck. My computer even automatically changes spoopy to spooky. I mean, come on. The best holiday season and businesses don’t even care enough about it to spell check the items they’re gonna sell. Fuck this shit.

come on buddy wheres your smngfiehp cheer

image

I can’t believe it’s July and Halloween is already here

this is some witchcraft I’ll ya hwat

(Source: omgtsn, via 0utbox)

Reblogged from kingofbastille

kingofbastille:

kingofbastille:

my twin brother is trying to convince me to have our 16th birthday dinner tomorrow night at Buffalo Wild Wings

image

the spare

(via 0utbox)

Reblogged from ribbonspooncat

(Source: ribbonspooncat, via 0utbox)

Reblogged from fstw

fstw:

shoutout to my mutuals that I don’t really talk to y’all still cool

(via coluring)

Reblogged from iguanamouth

(Source: iguanamouth, via 0utbox)

Reblogged from envyadams

thejourneytonirvana:

lilmotel:

envyadams:

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

image

this post had me in tears

(via 0utbox)

Reblogged from kimsoldblogone

nettosan:

datademon:

damn-arrows:

caffensis:

revyas:

I like it when cats settle down and it looks like they don’t have any limbs

image

image

they’re slugs

…and if you ever wondered what they look like from underneath when doing that:

image

This is important

(Source: kimsoldblogone, via crrocs)

Reblogged from dpaf

Reblogged from dunkindont

(Source: dunkindont, via hi)

Reblogged from pornstarbucks

pornstarbucks:

when you forget theres homework due tomorrowimage

(via nerdjpg)

Reblogged from keepingupwiththegifs

meanplastic:

me playing Kim Kardashian: Hollywood

(Source: keepingupwiththegifs, via zackisontumblr)

Reblogged from revolutionary-afrolatino

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

bloodwort:

frusturbation:

janefondle:

xpsycho:

eatimitationcrab:

setbabiesonfire:

Sgt. Thomas McVicar of the Jersey City Police Department shot 22 year old Kwadir Felton, leaving him blind, after Kwadir pulled a gun on him, he claims. Kwadir Felton denied the accusation, stating that he doesn’t even carry guns.

"I don’t understand!" Felton yelled at a police officer before his mother was removed from the courtroom. "You didn’t have to shoot me in the head for no reason! You trying to charge me with something I didn’t do!"

Sign the Change.org petition and get this story out there.

SIGN THE PETITION. Still at least 1,000 signatures needed. SIGNAL BOOST THIS or i will judge you.

This post has 140k notes, yet the change.org petition only has 44k. Sign the damn petition! 

This broke my fucking heart.

hey this needs about 16k more signatures

SIGNAL BOOST

(Source: revolutionary-afrolatino, via megfo)

Reblogged from fuckinq

fuckinq:

I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me

(via crrocs)